I’ve never felt comfortable with resolutions.
As a teenager we’d have a family meal early in the year, mum would go around the table asking for our resolutions; it always made me sick to my stomach.
I don’t know if it’s because I knew failing to follow through on a resolution would lead to guilt and possibly even shaming from my family. I felt as though voicing something trapped me. Forced me into something.
One year I didn’t say anything so I was roped into my mom’s resolution to go on a health kick. It wasn’t something I felt was necessary for me and I didn’t commit.
I don’t want to start 2020 half heartadly attempting to stay on track on a resolution. I want to start it more purposefully. I have goals for the year and I’m going to work towards them in my own time. And because it’s on my time I can’t fail them I can simply delay their completion.
This year I want to
- create content I am proud of
- get better at communicating my needs and my limitations
- improve my podcast editing skills
- grow stuff in the garden
- bake more
- reduce the amount of waste I generate
- pass my uni subjects
- be more actively aware of my emotions and moods
- avoid buying new things and instead get stuff second hand
- actively try and work in my field
- be honest about how I am feeling
Someone decided figuring out why I have a bright yellow walking stick would be a great conversation starter.
A well meaning question from a stranger I gave directions to.
We were standing in the lift from platform 10 of Flinders Street station and a person with a suitcase decided figuring out why I have a bright yellow walking stick would be a great conversation starter.
I accept that I made the stick very obvious by spray painting it with Dulux “Daisy Yellow” spray paint but I didn’t do that with the intention of inviting questions, I did it because I thought it would look cool.
This person asked if I had an injury and I said ‘No, I’m disabled’ and turned to push the lift button. I wish I’d tacked on another sentence though, something about how it’s rude to ask a stranger ‘what happened?’, ableist to ask why they need a mobility aid and horrible to ask because you’re trying to ‘catch a faker’.
If the person wanted to have a conversation they could have asked where I was headed that evening, where I got my cute skirt, how I decorated my kick ass stick or of I knew any good places for a snack.
There are so many ways to interact with disabled people respectfully and with kindness, and I was on my way to work in a skirt I got from Myer six years ago using my spray painted stick, and on the way I’ll probably stop at Woolworths to grab some snacks.